Sunday, February 15, 2009

Joss Whedon sucks.

I'll never understand how this guy got so much geek cred. I just watched Dollhouse, his new show on Fox, and it's the same shit: sci-fi with no sci, superheroines, sassy nerd character, and everyone is written as some type of obnoxious LA/Hollywood stereotype. Most characters sound like valley girl teeny boppers, even when it doesn't suit them at all, and everyone is overly catty and bitchy. He creates a universe where effeminate backtalk is the norm. This, obviously, drives me fucking insane and jst making it through the one hour program is quite a strain.

He also perfectly illustrates my belief that there are two very different kinds of male geeks: the fruity nerd and the manboy nerd. Fruity nerd likes pussy-ass shit like Nintendo, Buffy/Firefly, emo and indie rock, Star Wars, and Naruto. Fruity nerd is most likely produced by a lack of testosterone and overall sissiness making him a social outcast. Manboy nerd, however, likes hardcore shit like first person shooters, Lost, metal, Star Trek, and Bleach. Manboy nerd's intelligence is what makes him a social outcast, but he is still a guy and therefore loves explosions, killer robots, and boobies.

Look for more on my anthropological study of the modern Cro-magnerd in my Master's thesis.

15 comments:

Tristan said...

So, "Like what I like or you're a pussy" gotcha. But wait, I like Nintendo, Joss Whedon's works, first person shooters, Bleach, explosions, and even boobies. Does that make me bisexual or just confused?

Tim said...

I hate Joss Whedon too, I have no idea why Firefly is so popular, I liked it when I was like 15 but then I realized its just a typical sci-fi show without lasers or aliens. He's overall a joke

Bitter Kevin said...

Tristan: That makes you the rare hermaphroditic nerd.

Tim: I think all his fans must've been tweens when Buffy and/or Firefly came out. I missed the boat.

Mike said...

I agree with you except for the Star Wars/Star Trek categorizations. You can only like Episodes 1V and V, and Star Trek has been horrible since the original series. Also, 99.9% of anime is pussy shit, including Bleach. Basically any anime that has any type of j-pop intro and girly men main characters is faggot shit, like a snowglobe in Michal Douglas' crazy-sack

Mark Hughes said...

Hilarious, you just proved you're exactly what you claim to hate.

Bleach is a soap opera about whiny little girls (some in hairless yaoi male bodies) bitching at each other. Exactly what you say you hate.

Lost is also a soap opera about helpless idiots wandering on an island fighting random encounters. It's moronic, and people who watch it looking for a plot are fools.

First person shooters are for girly-boys who can't stand shooting real guns.

I presume when you say you like "Star Trek", you mean the emasculated, lame, TNG/VGR/ENT type, rather than the intellectual science fiction of the original series.

Guys who like "explosions, killer robots, and boobies" aren't intelligent, they're morons overcompensating for their lack of testosterone.

Quit hitting yourself, nerd.

L said...

Breaking news: nerds argue on the internet about the definition of nerd-dom.

DFA!!! said...

Hey I just came across this post and where you were describing the fruity fan boys you said they like star wars and that manboys like star trek. I think you mixed them up because Star Trek was never cool and its is the kinda @#$% that JW fans like

Bitter Kevin said...

I forgot to add: bitchnerds get butthurt over other people's opinions on the internet. Consider yourselves trolled, fruitbooties!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Swedeen said...

K, here's the thing: Dollhouse sucks. It was an interesting idea, but badly executed.

But, this does not by any stretch of the imagination mean that Joss Whedon sucks. Firefly clearly isn't your cup of tea, so I'll jump straight to the big guns: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

That show was incredible and groundbreaking. The characters were realistic, relatable, and very lovable. The plots were badass, and the monsters cool. The writing and dialogue were and still are supreme, and don't even get me started on the multitude or interesting social and moral questions the show raised.

And most importantly, Buffy was revolutionary. It redefined the vampire genre, and set the bar higher for TV and movies alike. It overturned the notion in every horror movie as the teenage girl as the victim, and came forth with a brilliant new concept: the girl as the hero. From feminism to sexuality and orientation, Buffy changed the way people thought about what was acceptable on TV.

Dollhouse isn't too great, but Joss Whedon changed the world. He's my hero.

What?!?! said...

Wow, this blog was written by a "hardcore" idiot, lol. People who put things into categories like that really need to get a life.

What?!?! said...

People who catalog things like that really need to get a life. This dude is a homophobe who probably faps to the noise of his mom having sex with her boyfriend while he sleeps in the basement.

JJ said...

Right on, Joss Whedon sucks, all his stuff is faggot bullshit.

James Harper said...

This blog made me lol, Joss Whedon is ass and he continues to prove it with all his latest retreads.

He's like the bloody Emperor of crap Sci-Fi. Prancing down the information super highway of geek culture. Where all his fans are sucking him off for another great piece of work. All the while failing to spot the ruse.

They've been tricked into thinking his stuff's good. When it's just a re-hash. They all gather up to sing his praises while failing to analyse what he's doing. Conflict for conflict's sake, nonsensical plots and using unrealistic and stereotypical archetypes because he can't create decent characters.

The guys a no talent hack.

Kevin Catarino said...

LOL I am so proud of this post for still garnering attention. I must say Avengers was awesome, but it still suffered from Whedon's faggotry: his crush on anime supergirls manifested itself strongly in Black Widow. Thanks for the praise, gentlemen, and hate on, haters.

Kevin Catarino said...

LOL I am so proud of this post for still garnering attention. I must say Avengers was awesome, but it still suffered from Whedon's faggotry: his crush on anime supergirls manifested itself strongly in Black Widow. Thanks for the praise, gentlemen, and hate on, haters.